Mustache.me

The Beardstache is facial hair's power play—a bold, full mustache paired with intentional stubble or a short beard. It's like wearing a tuxedo jacket with jeans, but for your face. This style says 'I'm sophisticated enough for a mustache but rugged enough to skip a few shaves.'

The Cantinflas is mustache minimalism at its most comedic—two small tufts of hair positioned directly under each nostril, separated by a completely shaved philtrum. It's like your mustache had a disagreement and decided to social distance.

The Chevron is the Swiss Army knife of mustaches—versatile, reliable, and surprisingly good at opening bottles (okay, maybe not that last part). It's a thick, full mustache that covers the entire upper lip from corner to corner, creating an inverted V shape that would make any geometry teacher proud.

The Cowboy mustache is what happens when a Chevron decides to mosey on past your mouth corners and head south. It's a full, thick mustache that extends beyond the lips with a characteristic droop, like it's tired from a long day of being ruggedly handsome. Think Sam Elliott meets your local craft brewery owner.

The Edwardian mustache is the aristocrat of facial hair - wide, waxed, and wonderfully over-the-top. Popular during King Edward VII's reign (1901-1910), this style extends well beyond the mouth corners with dramatically upturned ends that defy both gravity and modern sensibilities.

The English mustache is what happens when a Handlebar goes to Oxford and gets a degree in sophistication. It's a narrow mustache that begins at the middle of the upper lip, with whiskers pulled to the side and slightly curled, creating long, elegant points that extend well beyond the face. Think of it as the Rolls-Royce of mustaches—refined, distinguished, and requiring regular maintenance by skilled professionals.

The French mustache is sophistication incarnate—a refined, often waxed mustache that curves elegantly at the tips. Think of it as the Eiffel Tower of facial hair: architectural, romantic, and requiring regular maintenance to keep it from looking like a disaster.

The Fu Manchu is the mustache equivalent of a mic drop—long, dramatic tendrils that extend past your chin like elegant facial curtains. Named after the fictional villain Dr. Fu Manchu, this style requires the patience of a monk and the commitment of a method actor. It's not just a mustache; it's a lifestyle choice that says 'I have excellent impulse control and possibly a secret lair.'

The Handlebar mustache is facial hair's answer to a rollercoaster—it starts sensibly enough in the middle, then takes a dramatic upward turn at the ends that says 'I make my own rules, gravity be damned.' This is the mustache that turned wax from a floor polish into a grooming essential.

The Horseshoe mustache is what happens when a regular mustache decides to hit the gym and bulk up. It's a full mustache that extends vertically down from the corners of the mouth to the jawline, creating an upside-down U shape that would make any blacksmith proud. Think of it as the Chevron's rebellious older brother who rides motorcycles and arm wrestles for fun.

The Hungarian mustache is facial hair's equivalent of a symphony conductor's baton—dramatic, sweeping, and impossible to ignore. This bold style features a thick, full mustache that extends well beyond the corners of the mouth in a graceful downward swoop, like a facial hair waterfall that decided to defy gravity halfway down.

The Imperial mustache is facial hair royalty—literally. This distinguished style features whiskers that grow from both the upper lip and cheeks, then curve dramatically upward like a well-trained butler's posture. It's the mustache equivalent of wearing a monocle and top hat to brunch.

The Italian mustache is the Vespa of facial hair—stylish, practical, and guaranteed to make you 40% more expressive. It's a medium-width mustache with slightly curved ends that can be worn natural or lightly waxed for that perfect 'sprezzatura' look. Think of it as the mustache equivalent of a perfectly tailored suit from Milan.

The Military mustache is facial hair's answer to a perfectly pressed uniform—neat, regulation-compliant, and sharp enough to salute. This no-nonsense style follows strict grooming standards that vary by branch but share one mission: look professional while maintaining that distinguished military bearing.

The Musketeer mustache is the facial hair equivalent of a rapier - elegant, precise, and unmistakably French. This refined style features a thin mustache with dramatically pointed ends that extend beyond the mouth corners, often waxed to perfection. It's the mustache that says 'I could fence you with one hand while composing poetry with the other.'

The Pancho Villa is the mustache equivalent of a mic drop - bold, unmistakable, and impossible to ignore. This dramatic style features thick, full growth that extends well past the corners of the mouth, drooping down in a horseshoe shape that says 'I've seen things.' It's bushier and more substantial than a Fu Manchu, with the gravitas of a revolutionary and the presence of a Western legend.

The Pencil mustache is facial hair's answer to minimalism—a thin, precise line that says 'I own multiple pocket squares and know which fork to use at dinner.' It's the mustache equivalent of a perfectly tailored suit: understated, elegant, and requires more maintenance than you'd think.

The Pyramidal mustache is geometry class for your face—a precisely trimmed triangle that narrows from a wide base at the lip line to a defined point beneath your nose. Think of it as the architectural marvel of mustaches, requiring the precision of a mathematician and the steady hand of a surgeon.

The Rajputana mustache is not just facial hair—it's a statement of honor, courage, and cultural pride. With its dramatic upward curls that can extend past the cheeks, this style has adorned the faces of Rajput warriors, Indian military officers, and men of distinction for centuries. Think of it as the peacock of mustaches—bold, proud, and impossible to ignore.

The Victorian mustache is facial hair's equivalent of a three-piece suit with a pocket watch—elaborate, dignified, and requiring more maintenance than a vintage Rolls-Royce. This magnificently sculpted creation features extended whiskers that curve upward in dramatic spirals, often reaching well beyond the face's natural boundaries. It's not just a mustache; it's a lifestyle choice that says 'I have both time and an excellent wax collection.'

The Walrus mustache is the grizzly bear of facial hair—massive, untamed, and commands respect from a distance. This beast of a mustache droops over the upper lip like its marine mammal namesake, creating a curtain of hair that says 'I've seen things' and 'I probably brew my own beer.'

The Zapata mustache is a thick, full mustache that extends past the corners of the mouth, drooping downward in a distinctive horseshoe shape. Named after Mexican revolutionary leader Emiliano Zapata, this bold style makes a statement without saying a word. It's the mustache equivalent of a mariachi band—impossible to ignore and surprisingly versatile.